Today Jim and I are celebrating our 25th wedding anniversary. I was blessed to marry a godly man, and I wouldn’t want to make life’s journey with anyone else. In considering our past 25 years, I wanted to share a few honest thoughts about true love.

True love isn’t always romantic and glamorous. What makes true love true love isn’t roses, slow music, and warm fuzzies. True love is based on commitment, respect, and giving. Let’s be real: life is not a Hallmark movie; it’s often messy. Difficult times come, disappointments happen, and sometimes the road seems long and hard. That is where relationships are tested and vows are tried. Marriages between people who are committed, are respectful, and have giving hearts have a much better chance to come out of trials successfully. As a matter of fact, such relationships can become stronger and grow through tribulation if the people involves walk in true love.

Commitment. A love founded on a mutual agreement to never give up will last. It takes a determination to never walk away from the relationship. Challenges will come- sometimes from within the relationship, sometimes from without. Regardless, two commited people can weather any storm if they set their minds to stick it out. When you live your life and base your marriage on the truth of God’s Word, divorce is not an option. (The only exceptions would be in cases of unfaithfulness or abuse). When you enter marriage fully commited to be in it for the long haul, then you will be.

Respect. When believers are married, they need to honor each other as children of God. When one spouse fails to respect the other one, that person is disrespecting God, because they are a son/ daughter of God. I believe respect between a husband and wife is the glue that holds them together. We can show respect to each other by really listening to their opinions, honoring their desired level of privacy, giving them space when they need it, and demonstrating their value to us. And showing respect to each other by speaking well to each other and treating each other correctly goes a long way in showing our children what healthy relationships look like.

Giving. Love gives. Giving is a characteristic of love- it is a primary one. Without a desire to give to the other person, we aren’t basing our relationships on love, but on the benefit the relationship gives us. The giving I’m talking about is not just giving of physical gifts, but also giving of time, energy, effort, and compassion. It means putting the other person’s needs and desires above our own. Prefering one another is the hallmark of true love. True love is modeled after God’s love. There is no higher love, no greater love, than the love of God. True love is a giving, forgiving, self-sacrificing love.

To be honest, Jim and I don’t have a perfect marriage. We fall short in many ways, just like other people. We go through the ups and downs of life, and sometimes we realize we should have done things differently or handled a challenge better. But, we are determined to always be together, to grow together, to help each other in our walk with Christ, and to glorify God in our relationship any way we can. We sincerely love each other- not with the breathless, starry-eyed feeling of romance novels, but with the true love and devotion that comes from a relationship centered on Jesus Christ. We cherish each other and want the best for one another. And it is our prayer that married couples everywhere experience that beautiful kind of love too.

However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. Ephesians 5:33 (Amplified Bible Classic Edition, AMPC)