Train up a child in the way he should go, And when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6 (NKJV)

Most Christian parents have heard thise verse and most of them would agree with it. But, what does it mean to train up a child in the way he should go?

The way he should go refers to the way of God, or the path of the righteous. In other words, the goal is to direct the child to live according to the Word of the Lord. We cannot force children to be Christians, but it is our responsibility as parents to teach them in the things of God, showing them the benefits of following the Lord. So, we are to point them to God in everything we do.

Train up a child speaks of teaching by example, or demonstrating what a life lived for God looks like. If we say one thing and do another, it only serves to confuse children and frustrate them. The training must be consistent and genuine. And when we mess up and fail to model godly behavior, we repent to the Lord and simply go to our children and tell them we messed up. As a whole, children are very forgiving if we are sincere in our relationships with them.

As a child grows and develops, we must be aware of the need to deal with them differently in each stage of their development. As they get older, we must allow them more freedom to make decisions and choices. That can be difficult, because we normally want to protect our children from negative things such as rejection, failure, or other painful events. However, to spare them by not allowing them to make some decisions that may not turn out well is not really helping them. And as a result, a teenager may resent a parent who gives them little independence because they “only want what’s best for them.” We cannot shelter our children from everything, and it is harmful to them in the long run if we do. Am I saying that we should allow a young person to do things that are hazardous to them and others or allow them to do things that will ruin their futures? Of course not, there must always be boundaries as long as the child lives with his or her parents. The key is that as the child matures, the boundaries need to change.

As we lead our children on the right path, the path of God, we can know that we are sowing good seed into their young hearts. And as that child grows into an adult, those seeds will grow and produce a good harvest: an adult who chooses to live for Jesus.