Relationship Number Two

And he said, “‘This explains why a man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one.’ Matthew 19:5 (New Living Translation, NLT)

Jesus is talking about the marriage relationship. For those who are married, it is to be the most important relationship, other than our relationship with the Lord. It is to be our number two relationship. No other relationship should take priority over it except our relationship with God.

This means, and I cannot stress it enough, that relationships with others take a back seat to the marriage relationship. We should never put others ahead of our spouse. Our children are not to take priority over our husband or wife. Nowhere in the Bible does it tell us that we are to be joined to our children. The one flesh relationship is only between husband and wife. As a matter of fact, according to the Bible, it is expected that your children will eventually leave you and be joined to their own spouses. If you place the needs and wants of your children continually over your spouse, you are out of divine order. This harms not only your marriage relationship, but teaches your children to place a lower value on their own future mate. You are modeling wrong behavior to your children. Yes, parents should sacrifice to raise their children and care for them. No, you should not be selfish and always think of yourselves. However, consistently preferring your children over the needs of your spouse is bad for everyone involved. Take an honest look at your family dynamics and ask God if everything is in order or if changes should be made.

Friendships should not take priority over your spouse. That bestie you had since childhood or the best friend from work will have to get used to your husband or wife now being your best friend. You don’t have lose or forsake friends, but the marriage relationship takes priority. And if, as a spouse, you are preventing your husband or wife from getting any fellowship outside the home, you need to rethink your actions. Healthy marriages place the marriage first, but do not keep the other spouse as a prisoner without any other companionship. Value each other over outside friends, but allow each other to have some fellowship with others. This is healthy.

Finally, the marriage relationship is to be valued above your relationship with your employer and other commitments. If your work is monopolizing your time or harming your marriage in some other way, it is time to look for a new job.

The husband-wife bond is a covenant and should be valued above other human relationships. Our relationship with Jesus is always number one, but our marriage is always to be relationship number two.