O death, where is thy sting? O grave, where is thy victory…? But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. I Corinthians 15:55,57 (KJV)

If you’ve lived any amount of time on this earth, you’ve lost someone you care about. Within a short period of time I lost an aunt, uncle and my stepfather. I loved them all dearly and I grieved the loss. Janean was at work the day I found out that my stepdad died. And God supernaturally brought someone to the house for me to talk to- He didn’t want me to be alone. It’s amazing how God understands our pain.

How are we supposed to handle a loss? What can we do that will allow us to express our pain and yet not keep us in the valley of grief for an extended period of time? Jesus lost friends and family- His cousin John the Baptist for example. We can go to God and tell Him how we feel because He’s been there- He gets it. The Father experienced the worst loss imaginable when Jesus died on the cross- even though He knew it was not the final outcome, it was still excruciating.

Allow yourself to cry and grieve. Pour out your heart to God. Read the Bible. The Word of God supernaturally produces peace in us. We draw strength, comfort, hope, and help from the Word . I also find that worship helps. Worship, prayer, and time in the Word all bring relief from the pain. Spend time with people who will love on you. If you have a church family- continue to go to church. That is the not the time to turn away from going to the house of the Lord.

Take time to remember the good times you had with the person you lost. I know that once my stepdad retired, we used to talk about all his new adventures he was enjoying. I was so happy for him. Thinking about that brings me comfort. Sometimes when the loss is fresh, it can be tempting to try to not think about the person because it hurts so much, but at some point, we have to take time to recall what they meant to us. It might be painful at the time, but it brings healing.

Always go to God and hang out with Him. Let Him minister to you as only He can. Let His presence sooth your heart like salve on a wound. Do not allow grief to become your permanent habitation. To remain in an extended time of grief is not healthy and does not honor the memory of the person who passed on. The Holy Spirit will prompt you and let you know when it is time to let go of the pain and purposely move on with your life. It does not lessen that person’s significance in your life, and it is the best thing to do for your emotional and spiritual wellbeing.

Yes, it hurts when people pass on from this life. We miss them because we love them. But, as you focus on the good things about them and let God heal the hurt, you will be able to go on. And if they knew Jesus, you can think about the joy they are experiencing right now and the reunion you will have when you graduate to heaven. As believers, we have a lot to look forward to. They are not in your past; they are in your future!