Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. For whosoever will save his life shall lose it: and whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it. Matthew 16:24-25 (KJV)

Each person deals with a certain amount of selfishness and immaturity, plus we also experience it from other people. Selfishness seeks what is wants for itself. We’re selfish when we put ourselves and our desires above others.

Jesus told us to deny ourselves. This means to lose sight of and disown what we want. We are to say no to selfish ways. Selfishness is a trait of being childish and immature. Children throw tantrums when they don’t get what they want.

Love is not rude, it is not selfish, and it cannot be made angry easily. Love does not remember wrongs done against it. I Corinthians 13:5 (Esay-to-Read Version, ERV) emphasis mine

Love is not selfish and does not seeks it’s own way. It is not easily angered. God’s way is for us to walk in love. He wants us to say no to self, being selfless rather than selfish. The more we mature in God, Who is love, the less selfish we will become. Instead, we will be more patient, kind, and giving. As we grow in god, we think. talk, and act more mature. We won’t always be mindful of our own wants, talking about our desires all the time. Rather, we will be thinking about how to serve God and others. The more we learn to walk in love, the more mature we will be and the less selfish. We’ll deny self to help others. The more we give, the more we say no to ourselves.

Maturity says yes to God and no to self. Immaturity wants to satisfy its fleshly desires. Maturity see that it is better to live for Christ and not for self. The more we say yes to the love of God, the more we will mature into Christlike selflessness. We become more Christ-centered instead of self-centered. The more we die to our desires, the more we live. The more we lose, the greater our gain. The more we give, the more we get. The more we deny ourselves, the more of Christ we obtain.

And when he had called the people unto him with his disciples also, he said unto them, Whosoever will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. Mark 8:34 (KJV)

As we take up our cross, dying to self, to follow Christ, the more like Him we become. Jesus had to die to be resurrected. As we deny selfishness and immaturity, we take up our cross, living the crucified life. When we do, we can gain resurrection life. This gives us power to continue to say no to self and immaturity and yes to God. This is true surrender... and true success.