The Process of Becoming One
Many people view marriage as a final destination. They see dating and courtship as the path to marriage. And after that, well, who knows? Because of childhood stories and fairytales, we’ve come to view marriage as the goal, and after that we assume it will automatically be “happily ever after.”
Marriage is not a destination, but a journey in itself. As two travel together on the road of life, they are progressively becoming one. It is a process that takes a lifetime. Two very different people come together and pledge to remain united for the rest of their time on earth. As they live and love together, they are to become closer and closer. If each partner is in it to bless the other one, they will learn more and more about one another. As they do, they adapt and change and grow closer together. They remain individuals, but become more and more blended together into one.
The process of becoming one can be a bumpy one, with misunderstandings and missteps along the way. However, the marriages that last are those that contain commitment, forgiveness, compassion, communication, and vulnerability. These are elements that aid tremendously in the blending of two into one. But, the most important component in a healthy, growing marriage relationship is a sincere love and commitment to God.
A threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12 (KJV)
When both partners love God and want to please God, it is reflected in how they treat their spouse and the effort they put forth in knowing and loving them more and more. The Bible tells us that we are to dwell with one another according to knowledge. This means we get to know them and what makes them who they are- the things they like and the things they don’t like. Then, we act in accordance with what we’ve learned about them. When we follow what God tells us in His Word, it makes marriage a joy and benefit to everyone involved.
Today, December 23, 2024, it is my 30th wedding anniversary with my husband, Jim. I want to say that I have been blessed to marry a man who loves God and His Word more than anything. As a result, our marriage has been built upon the Rock that cannot be shaken. Although neither of us is even close to perfect, we’re continuing to grow closer, and we’re continuing the challenging, yet rewarding, process of becoming one. It is my earnest, heartfelt prayer that you experience the same.
