Each married person needs to be their spouse’s biggest fan and most energetic cheerleader. This world dishes out a lot of rejection and condemnation, and we need to be the one to lift them up. If we criticize and add to the hits they have already taken from others, what good is that?

When you talk, don’t say anything bad. But say the good things that people need—whatever will help them grow stronger. Then what you say will be a blessing to those who hear you. Ephesians 4:29 (Easy-To-Read Version, ERV)

Everyday find something to compliment them about. Encourage them in the things they do well. Support them and cheer them on as they work on improving areas where they struggle. And be sure to speak well of them to their face, as well as to others. My husband has always been really good at this. Every time I meet someone who knows Jim, they usually tell me how much Jim brags on me and my abilities. And I have to honestly say that there are few things that make me feel better about myself than that. I am sure that Jim could find dozens upon dozens of things to criticize about me, but instead he chooses to talk about my positive qualities. When you hear someone speaking highly of their mate, take notice, because that is a good indication that they have a rock solid relationship.

Maybe your spouse has aged and no longer looks like the person you married. Time and gravity may have had an impact on them, but you can find something that is still attractive about them. Maybe they have sparkling eyes, or a cute nose, or they have dimples when they smile. Those are easy compliments to give, and they will encourage them so much. Sad to say, most people do not like what they see when they look in the mirror, and simple, sincere compliments can do a lot for them.

Your mate might do some things that irritate you to no end. Rather than focus on those things, think about something they did that attracted you to them in the first place. Look at their positive qualities and learn to laugh at the things that the devil wants you to despise about them.

Thank each other for the small things. Once again, my husband is a pro at this. I might cook a meal- even a really simple one- and he will thank me for making it. He thanks me for buying him certain things from the grocery. He thanks me when I drive. If I order him something online, he says thank you. He expresses his gratitude for the big and little things, and it makes me want to do more for him. And I try to thank him every time I think of it- for taking out the trash, getting the mail, feeding the cat, etc.

Have a real and authentic appreciation for your husband or wife, and let them (and others) know about it. You’ll be amazed at how much it strengthens your relationship.

Love is to be sincere and active [the real thing—without guile and hypocrisy]. Romans 12:9 (Amplified Bible, AMP)